After, perhaps, a little too dogmatic in my previous post on the Assumption, now I feel the need to return to earth, to something more concrete. Give me a good quote on occasion. It reads: "People become gifts when I have more expectations from them. As exchange relations." (1)
That, in my opinion, a great rule of conduct: no longer have any expectations! Is this realistic? Let's see what this implies. It is not indifference, far from it! Not having expectations does not remove the desire of many of the best man or woman to whom I expect nothing. But, I just does not even mentally, without the express form of property that seems appropriate for this person.
Then she feels free of any influence. It can become itself without having to defend a foreign intervention that would seek to direct it. Such freedom is not "after everything, you might as well do what you want ...". It takes place in a constructive dialogue, active listening. I listen, I understand, and I try to reflect his thinking. If my image is not good, she corrects me. Thus, we clarify things and we move forward together.
This kind of dialogue is not limited only to a simple conversation well done. It is also and above all, a style of being together which should result in a change and respect for an unknown to me. But while the ignorant, I can deeply want. So, feeling welcomed as it is, the other can become a gift for me. And vice versa.
If relationship was rather difficult, in perpetual confrontation, or being broken, here's the obstacles that disturbed the relationship gradually disappear. A climate of freedom is established and brings happiness to the exchange. Thus we become "gifts" for one another.
"It's good, it is sweet, for brothers to dwell together "says the psalm. Is it too idealistic? This happiness is received, but it is also an achievement. The good old moralists once said that happiness is a virtue. They don ' were not wrong, because access to happiness is not without difficult moments. In the case of a relationship, I can bear to see another take a direction I do not see the result. And I want to respect its own path. Am I really no expectations? It is sometimes difficult to meet deadlines.
This "kindness" and this "softness" Psalm speaks, she always made available in the "living together" . But let's be realistic! A inevitable suffering will also coexist. I can overcome that by giving people the "brothers" at an intelligence that I am loving and acting in them: that the great Life. It is neither a coincidence nor a surrender to ourselves. In reality the change can be harder than you think. Because there is resistance from both sides of the relationship. Time can defeat them. But I have to bear the slow pace of progress. Mine first, then those of the other.
All this is evident in the non-verbal. I seem anxious sometimes. The inner attitude is not what it should be. That is, without doubt, part of the packaging of the gift. The bottom line is still wrapped in artifice trying to hide what is not yet healed. But, after all, Life, the great, does not it is given to be transformed?
(1) Yves Girard, in "Blades and Lights," p. 148.
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